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While I Wait: What to do before and after the right relationship

Honestly, I haven’t read this in years. Enjoy the read. Tell me what you think. I’m sure there’s some grammar errors, but enjoy it just the same.

Intro

“While I Wait” is special because it’s from an outside looking in perspective. Like most things in life, we are able to see more clearly once we are out of a situation rather then when we are in the middle of it. I’ve noticed a lot about relationships and I’ve also had to notice a lot about myself throughout this waiting period in my life.

Waiting on the right person can be tiring, but what we don’t realize is that it can

be just as tiring when they show up too. So what do we do about it? Instead of spending our days wondering when they’re going to get here, choose to focus on what you need to work on in the meantime.

The great thing about this book is that it addresses issues that happen during the waiting period, the relationship or marriage, and afterwards. Because I can only share so much on the topic of marriage I’ve taken the liberty of sitting with couples who have been married anywhere from a few months to a few decades in order to provide a proper balance of relatability no matter where you are in your life or relationship.

So, for all the married readers, I’m sure you’ll find yourself in here just fine. And what I can say is this: if there were issues before the marriage or relationship that weren’t resolved, they are probably the same issues that keep showing up in your lives.

As a reader, you’re probably wondering, why write a book about relationships? There are already books on the subject, so what makes this one any different? I decided to write “While I Wait” for several reasons. The first was because I really felt that God was not only showing, but sharing amazing things with me about relationships. Let’s face it, we can always use a few relationship tidbits. And even if we can’t, we can use someone to relate to.

My second reason was because I had made so many mistakes in my own relationships. I felt like it would be beneficial to let others know that certain things that you think are important or all about you aren’t when it comes to the relationship. It’s never good to risk any relationship because you think it’s all about you.

My third reason was for accountability. For me, this is the toughest one. I’m being held accountable for the rest of my life for what I decide to say in this book. It’s both exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. My future marriage will have documented proof of the promises I’ve made even before meeting him.

I hope that everyone who reads this book can take something positive away from it and into their lives. The important thing in all this is to focus on being the best we can be before being a part of someone else’s life. If you’re already married or in a relationship, the important thing is being the best you can be to make that relationship the best it can be. So, as you commit to reading this book, I hope that you’ll make the same commitment to your relationship as well.

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Have a Heart

This book is very near and dear to me. Please enjoy the read. 🙂

Chapter 1  

I sure do love waking up to this man. Look at that skin. That body. He is so much more than I asked for, and I was quite specific in my prayers. But seriously, it is six in the morning! I’m not ready to get up yet.  

“Babe, can’t you just lay down for five more minutes.” And by him laying down, I really mean can I sleep peaceably for another 30 minutes.  

“No, I’ve got to get going, and you need to be right behind me. Plus, you know good and well that five minutes will turn into 30 easily,” he says as he sits up to get out of bed.  

He knows me so well. But since we are kindred spirits I’ve got him pegged too. I look deep into his eyes and pout just enough to seem spoiled, but remind him that my being spoiled is all his fault. He slides back into bed.  

“Ten minutes, then I have to get up,” he whispers from behind me.  

“Great. Fifteen minutes it is.”   

I’m sure he can hear the smile in my voice. As I doze off I hear him quoting Proverbs 31. 

“Her husband praises her: There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all.”  

I sure hope I do…  

*** 

7:00 am came faster than ever. By the time I’m half awake, he’s dressed and ready to go. I wonder if all men can do that or if that’s just his thing. If he decides to be up and ready by 7:00 am, then he will be. It’s so simple, but I love his decisiveness. Plenty of men can be decisive, but not like my husband. I like to believe that everything about him that fascinates me is something that only he can be capable of. I am completely enamored by this man. I love him. Plain and simple. I love my husband. 

“What,” I ask as he interrupts my thoughts. 

“Did you enjoy your extra 30 minutes of sleep?” 

“Thirty? It felt like five,” I say with a yawn. 

“Well, regardless it’s time for you to get up. I put some coffee on for you too. I’m running behind so I’ve got to get going.” 

I don’t understand why he looks so panicked. He’s never late. Ever. As I watch him rush around, I sit up in bed and interrupt his flow by reaching out to him. 

It’s no lie that it feels like time stands still when he reaches back. I can’t explain the wave of emotion I feel when he stops everything he is doing to grab my hands and kiss me. And when he pulls away looking into my eyes and says he loves me, I feel full. I need nothing more than that to convince me of his love. 

With that, I repeat the words, I love you, and steal another kiss before he gathers himself to leave the bedroom. And when he leaves and I hear the door closing, I lean back onto my bed and smile. I’m glad I left that little note in his car, and I promise I can feel his smile right now. 

I love you so much. Have a great day today and I hope to see you soon. Thank you for loving me. I love the God in you. And I love that you have put Him in our marriage. 

Something in me felt like sneaking him a note for work today when we were riding home from dinner last night. I didn’t want the night to end, so I hoped I could carry it over into today. As I hear the door again, I see it was very much worth it. 

He enters the room, laughs and says, “I knew you weren’t up!” Then he grabs me by the hands and kisses me.  

Yep, the note was very well worth it, I think to myself. 

As we part he says, “I love you and I have to go for real this time.” And like a kid, I get up and watch him leave. 

I laugh to myself on my way to the bathroom thinking about how much work it took for us to get to this point. Marriage is one of my better ideas, but definitely isn’t my easiest one. 

No matter how much people tell you, you’ll never know until you’re in the middle of it. It’s two people who have grown to be the person that they had been developing into for some 20-30 years now saying, “OK, let’s learn how to live with another person all over again.” 

Marriage is very different from living with family, it’s two people who have learned what they don’t want to compromise about themselves, having to compromise. God truly has to bless a marriage to make it work. This one would definitely be doomed without Him. That’s for sure. 

*** 

Looking in the bathroom mirror he groans as he pops his morning pills. 

“Who could rest with all these chest pains? Then I have to wake up to a counter of medicine after it all. The life I’ve always dreamed of…” 

I can hear my dad now “medicine is for wimps.” After all my trying to appease him, I guess I’m still a wimp. I even chose a “manly” profession because it seemed so unwimpy. Construction. Hard hats. Nothing wimpy about that. 

Yet, here I am. Staring at a counter of wimpy prescription pills for an inherited heart disease. What are the odds? 

I officially have hit bottom I think. A profession that I can’t even do because of a bad heart. My doctor has basically forbidden me from any work until a donor comes up. I’ve not given much thought to that. I’ll probably be good and dead by the time I get a donor. 

Life with someone else’s heart… I guess the truth is that I couldn’t imagine it, much less anticipate it. Won’t happen anyway. I’ve been waiting over a year, and I know someone has been waiting even longer than me somewhere.

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The Gift of Education

I’m grateful to be able to learn. When I think about people who gave their life for me to be able to read and write it almost brings tears to my eyes. I’m so thankful that education was important. I’m thankful that being denied the right to learn was important enough for so many to risk their lives.

And now, I teach. The very type of person that people years ago didn’t want to have the right to learn, now has the right to teach school. And I have the right to teach to students who don’t look like me or think like me.

I actually have the right to influence a group of people. And my goal is to not take that right for granted. My goal is to appreciate them and this opportunity to do so. My goal is to understand that I have been gifted and trusted with this ability to teach and the opportunity to teach. I will not cause anyone to regret their trust in me.

I will be grateful for the gift of learning. God gave me a brain, others sacrificed their lives, and I intend to always make their sacrifice worthwhile. What are you doing with others’ sacrifices?

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National Novel Writing Month

Well it’s National Novel Writing month already. Although I never actually write a novel during this time, I do make an effort to post a blog of some sort every day.

This year I thought I’d do something a little different. This year, I thought I would post based on weekly themes for the month.

Let’s face it, we are all geared towards certain subjects. So this year, I am going to post the subjects I will write about for the week. If they pique your interest, then check them out. If not, I guess you know the ones to avoid. Thanks for reading!

 

 

November 1 – 3 Devotionals

 

 

November 4 – 10 Gratitude Challenge

 

 

November 11 – 17 Creative Writing

 

 

November 18 – 24 Relationships

 

 

November 25 – 30 Excerpts from upcoming books

 

 

Study this Book will still take place through these posts as well.

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Be A Cheerleader

Be a CheerleaderThere is something pleasant about  a smile. It really makes a difference to have that person who seemed to be staring at you, to smile at you. You just feel better (after feeling a little bad for being annoyed by their staring), but for the most part you feel good.

And is there anything like hearing some good news? Oh, you got the job. He’s out of surgery and doing well. Register 3 is open for the next in line. I love your hair. You get the point. No matter how big or small, hearing something good makes you feel good.

There is a reason these small things make a big difference. Mainly, because the Bible said so in Proverbs 15:30.

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart;
good news makes for good health.

There really is some truth for everyone in the Bible. So as I read this Proverb, I’m reminded that it’s good to be the recipient of those things, but it’s more important to give them.

So be the person that brings joy to someone’s heart by giving a cheerful look. Be the person that makes someone feel better by delivering good news. Be the person that inspires happiness and cheer instead of always being the person who needs it. Because just as much as it matters for you, it matters for others. So do what matters, be a cheerleader.

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Frederick Douglass – Intelligent

Intelligent – having or showing intelligence, especially of a high level.

Frederick Douglass is one of the most well-known human rights leaders in the anti-slavery movement and the first African-American citizen to hold a high U.S. government rank. He is also a famed author and orator.

Born into slavery around 1818, Douglass was selected to live in the home of his plantation owners, one of whom they say could have been his father. Eventually Frederick was sent to Hugh Auld’s Baltimore home, which is where he learned to read and write. Auld forbade his wife from teaching Frederick anymore, but he continued to have a zeal for learning.

Later, Douglass became an abolitionist as well as a women’s rights activist. He published three versions of his autobiography during his lifetime. He also produced some abolitionist newspapers: The North StarFrederick Douglass WeeklyFrederick Douglass’ PaperDouglass’ Monthly and New National Era. In 1848, he was the only African American to attend the first women’s rights convention in New York.

When I think of Frederick Douglass I think of intelligence. Is there any surprise why?

One and God make the majority. – Frederick Douglass

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Ode to Black History

Just like Maya

I wish I could write

I wish my words

Would inspire others to join the fight

 

Like Harriet

I wish I was brave

I’d be so legit

Leading to freedom, today’s modern slaves

 

I wish I could dream

Like Langston or Martin

I’d come up with great things

To have a part in

 

And if I was bold

Like Angela Davis

I’d be like Sojourner Truth

I’d be courageous

 

Or maybe I’d want to be immovable

Like Rosa Parks

I’d want even my sitting

To light a spark

 

Or what if I could speak

Like Mr. Frederick Douglass

I’d be able to voice the truth

For so many of us

 

And if like W.E.B. DuBois or Carter G. Woodson

I was smart

I would know where to end

I would know where to start

 

Yet if I was like Hattie McDaniel

I’d play my part

I’d create and cultivate

I’d perfect my art

 

If I were a strong leader like Malcolm

With the influence of Martin

Maybe I would soften some hearts

That have been hardened

 

But even if I’m just Chanel

With limitations

I can still do my part

To motivate this nation

 

If black history

Means so much to me

I’d put into practice

All that I could be

 

I’d learn from their examples

And I’d do my best

I would be who that had in mind

When they were on their quests

 

 

 

 

 

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