Tag Archives: Wife

28

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I’ve found it easier to accept your age if you start saying it even before you’re there. I found myself saying I was 28, five months ago. So, now that I am, I am already used to the idea. However, getting older has never been hard for me. I’m like wine, the older the better. Ha ha.

Anyway, I am embracing the year of 28. The year of 28 as a married woman. The year of 28 as a career woman. The year of 28 as a writer. Most importantly, the year of 28 as a Christian.

It is time to step up in my walk with God, and it’s especially necessary. At 28, I shouldn’t have the same relationship with God that I had at 18. My prayer life should be deeper. My Bible studying should be more engaged. In other words, God should have more of me with every year, with every day.

So this year, my desire is to focus more on God and less on me. My career, marriage, writing, whatever it is, will automatically be better with my focus on God’s will in those areas. I’ll be better with my focus on God.

I declare 28 to be great as I focus on God’s fate for my life. Here we go.

 

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Wedding Vows

I wanted my final post of 2016 to go to my husband. Thank you for loving God. Thank you for being you. Here is my worldwide reminder of my vows:

Brandon, when you look at me everything changes. When you look at me the world makes sense. When you look at me it changes my outlook. Every day I am reminded of how much God loves me. You are the epitome of a man that would make me happy.

I’m so glad that when God made you He had me in mind. And I’m so glad that when God made marriage, in 2016 He had our marriage in mind. I’m so glad when God had love and marriage in mind that we were a part of that list. I’m so grateful that of all the many blessings upon my life that I know I don’t deserve that you are at the top of the list. And every day your love reminds me that God is love and that He created us to love one another.

I thank God every day that you are a reminder of what Christ did when He came and gave up His life for the church. And I thank God so much that He created you, and that you are a man that loves everything about me. You love everything that I am and everything that I’m not. Whether that’s natural, in sweatpants, with no makeup. Or all glammed up.

So today, I, Chanel, take you, Brandon to be the man I love and the man God loves. I will support and respect the man God created you to be. And the purpose He created us for.

I take you as my husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will be your Proverbs 31 and turn to you when I need help and be there for you when you need help. I will encourage you even when I feel discouraged. I will uplift you when I feel downtrodden. I will love you when I feel least loving. I will do my best to lose every argument. My best to be the first to sacrifice. And my hardest to admit when I’m wrong.

I take you, to be my husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for bad, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and rippedness, to love and to cherish till death do us part. I pledge thee my faith in every area of my life, especially my heart.

May my body be fully committed to you. May my eyes stay focused on God and you. May my heart desire to be in sync with the beat of yours. May my hands long to do God’s work alongside yours. I pray that my body, head to toe, inside and out, will please you spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

On this day, I am reminded of just how mighty God is and how perfect His timing is, and how wonderful His plans are. On this day I am yours. On this day I am Chanel Moore. On this day I have a new entity added to my identity. I am the wife of Brandon Moore, and there is no better man that I can I ask for.

 

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Change Me?

You know, it’s interesting that when we pray for things that aren’t going our way, we pray for people to be changed. You know, my marriage isn’t going right because he won’t change. Or my job isn’t easy because my boss is ridiculous. Those types of things.

I believe we should pray for people. No doubt. But it’s interesting to me that we can be selfish enough to pray for everyone else to change, but not pray for ourselves. We can pray for our boss to change or for our husband to do better. But oddly enough, we’re hurt when God tells us we need to change.

Why would we pray for everything else to change, but feel like we should stay the same? If everythng else needs to be changed, isn’t there a possibility we could use a little reboot as well? Today, I believe God just wanted me to have this little reminder.

When things aren’t going my way. When he doesn’t get it. When they just seem too difficult to deal with. Maybe I should pray to have some things in my heart revealed before I pray that God change someone else. A change is gonna come, and it might have to start with me.

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Wedding v. Marriage

I’m just wondering when people get married are they really getting married for forever or for an idea? You know, there is a difference between the wedding and the marriage.

Marriage is a great. I’m not married yet, but I’ve seen great marriages. So, I know it can be great. God created marriage, so it has to be something good. But I’m curious as to why people put so much effort into the wedding and hardly any into the marriage.

I’m not saying weddings can’t be fun. And I’m not saying a person shouldn’t be excited about having one. Be happy. You’ve found someone to spend the rest of your life with! It’s great!

But, why is it more important to plan the wedding than it is the marriage? If you’ve been dreaming about the perfect wedding since you were a child, shouldn’t you have spent some time trying to be the “perfect” wife when it’s over.

Although the timing really is unparelleled, just go with me here. If life here is only a glimpse of time compared to eternity, then what is the time of a wedding compared to a marriage that’s meant to last forever? Isn’t only a glimpse as well.

Divorce is too easy an option for us today. I’m not saying that sometimes you don’t need to get out of a marriage. But I am saying that it seems like it might not be worth it to divorce because he doesn’t like to clean up, if divorce wasn’t such an easy scapegoat.

I am no expert in marital affairs. And so I don’t write about marriage as a know-it-all. I write about it because I need the reminders myself. I write because when my marriage isn’t going the way I planned it, I can look back and be held accountable.

As I prepare for my wedding in less than a month, I just want to remind myself and other people in the world to not lost sight of the bigger picture. Weddings are good, but they aren’t marriage. Work towards being happy everyday and not just for that day. For many, the day they get married is the best day of their lives. But don’t let it be the best day of your marriage either.

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Why Marriage?

Why get married? That’s been the question. If you can have a support system and companionship without sexual immorality, why get married?

To me, it’s obvious that God created marriage for more than just the right to have sex. In fact, I believe that if He didn’t create marriage for more than that, we wouldn’t see so many failed marriages. Satan attacks marriages and families because they are the most powerful foundational relationships God created between human beings.

But, in response to the original question, I have a question. What if we aren’t living up to our potential to know why God has given some of us a spouse? The Bible says that a wife of noble character will help her husband (Proverbs 31:12, NLT). But, what if he’s not living up to his full potential to know why he needs the help a virtuous wife? Perhaps that’s the real question we need to ask.

I don’t believe that people have to get married, but I do believe that there is a purpose behind marriage. Married couples are supposed to build one another up in their walk with God. And if spouses aren’t living up to their full potential, then it’s easy to wonder what the purpose of your marriage is. When you’re not in a situation or position where you need the support that only a marital spouse can provide, it’s easy to believe that any support would do.

If God blesses you with marriage, great. If He blesses you with singleness, just as good (1 Corinthians 7:7).  Whatever He blesses you with, just know that if you’re not operating out of your full God-given potential, it can easily seem like a curse.

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Sharing is Caring

What makes being in a relationship hard? I think an underlying problem is having to share. I’ve been trying to figure out what makes it so hard to wrap my brain around marriage. The obvious is true, simply put, it’s a HUGE change. But when I sat and thought about it, God boiled it down to even simpler terms.

We have never truly learned how to share. And sharing has never seemed quite as fun as having it all for yourself. Sharing is scary. We have to trust someone with our stuff! We have to believe they will take care of it or that they’ll appreciate our sacrifice in offering it.

And since we never really learned to share, it’s hard to wrap our mind around sharing in marriage. Sharing money? Sharing my space? Sharing my feelings? Sharing is too vulnerable and we would rather voluntarily suffer than have to share.

But what about the other end of the spectrum? When we move from “I have to” to “I get to” it doesn’t seem so bad. And I can’t help but believe that we need to change our perspective about love, things, and money. Media paints a pretty ugly picture of marriage. It’s all about what you have to do. While that is a part of marriage it’s not all of marriage.

The movie “What Love Is,” explains this idea so great. A single friend is trying to convince his married buddy about how “whipped” he is in marriage. The married friend goes on to say it’s all about perspective. “You see it as I have to pick up my wife from the airport. I see it as I get to pick up my wife from the airport.”

I understand marriage will certainly not always be rainbows and roses. But I pray to understand it won’t be all hailstorms and thorns either. It’s the second biggest decision you can make (salvation being the first). It’s so big because it’s so good. And it will be a lot of work, but who wouldn’t want to work hard at something that’s worth it?

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It’s All About The Sex?

These end times we’re living in are something else! If you don’t know Jesus, you need to. And He needs to know you too! I’m so serious about that. If you don’t know the Lord, you will believe that things are right or maybe OK that just absolutely are not.

I was listening to the radio the other day and the topic was would you marry a virgin? Sadly, I only heard two people who said yes, and neither reason was because God said that we should wait until we’re married.

First off, God says sex is for marriage (1 Corinthians 7:1-3). Second, whether or not a person is “experienced” is not a deciding factor for a lifelong partnership. Third, do you know the likelihood of having a sexually transmitted disease if you don’t have sex? Zero. Fourth, do you know how expensive an unexpected pregnancy is? Exactly!

I know that our culture has decided to condone premarital sex, but that still doesn’t mean it’s OK. I know it’s hard to wait, but that doesn’t mean that that shouldn’t be your goal.

If God didn’t think that sex was its best in a godly marriage, then He wouldn’t have created it. Sex is meant to be the full physical expression of love between a husband and wife. Anyone who honors that shouldn’t be treated as a misfit, but as a wonderful rarity.

Have we really reached the day when marriage is based on whether or not a person can please you enough? Do we really want someone who’s had a lot of practice more than someone we want someone to practice with for a lifetime?

I’ve had people ask me what I would do if I got married and my husband wasn’t good in bed. What should I do? Should I divorce a man that loves God, loves me, is financially stable, and repsectful because he’s not a sexpert?

Sex is important in marriage, but is it seriously all about the sex now?

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