Tag Archives: sex

Why Marriage?

Why get married? That’s been the question. If you can have a support system and companionship without sexual immorality, why get married?

To me, it’s obvious that God created marriage for more than just the right to have sex. In fact, I believe that if He didn’t create marriage for more than that, we wouldn’t see so many failed marriages. Satan attacks marriages and families because they are the most powerful foundational relationships God created between human beings.

But, in response to the original question, I have a question. What if we aren’t living up to our potential to know why God has given some of us a spouse? The Bible says that a wife of noble character will help her husband (Proverbs 31:12, NLT). But, what if he’s not living up to his full potential to know why he needs the help a virtuous wife? Perhaps that’s the real question we need to ask.

I don’t believe that people have to get married, but I do believe that there is a purpose behind marriage. Married couples are supposed to build one another up in their walk with God. And if spouses aren’t living up to their full potential, then it’s easy to wonder what the purpose of your marriage is. When you’re not in a situation or position where you need the support that only a marital spouse can provide, it’s easy to believe that any support would do.

If God blesses you with marriage, great. If He blesses you with singleness, just as good (1 Corinthians 7:7).  Whatever He blesses you with, just know that if you’re not operating out of your full God-given potential, it can easily seem like a curse.


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Spiritual Warfare: Star Wars

It was the better episode of the series because to me it depicted a great spiritual truth when it comes to spiritual warfare. Yes, Star Wars Episode III. As many know there is a Force and a dark side of it. Darth Vader becomes who he is as he allows himself to embrace the dark side.

As I watched it today I saw a wonderful depiction of the ongoing battle between flesh and Spirit. The flesh (dark side) will forever promise to be better than what you’re going through now. It will promise sex outside of marriage will feel too good to not have. It will promise alcohol or drugs will make you feel better. It will promise money will make life easier. It will always promise bigger and better but will never deliver.

Darth formerly known as Anakin had it all. He had promise. He had talent. He was the one. The Force was strong with him. But the power of the flesh’s fear promised him more. His fear caused him to act in his flesh thus causing him to lose the things he wanted to protect.

The Force reminded me of the good that God is. God wants more for us. He never asks that we fear anything because fear is not of God. The very flesh that causes us to fear is the same flesh that causes us to lose focus of God. It’s easy to give into the dark side. It’s easy to believe we are being held back from something better that we really want. But that’s what flesh has us to believe.

There is a greater force. God is with us in Spirit and in truth. And the moment our flesh causes us to forget that is the moment we begin to lose everything we fought so hard to keep. It is not God’s will for us to be losers, but it is our choice.

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It’s All About The Sex?

These end times we’re living in are something else! If you don’t know Jesus, you need to. And He needs to know you too! I’m so serious about that. If you don’t know the Lord, you will believe that things are right or maybe OK that just absolutely are not.

I was listening to the radio the other day and the topic was would you marry a virgin? Sadly, I only heard two people who said yes, and neither reason was because God said that we should wait until we’re married.

First off, God says sex is for marriage (1 Corinthians 7:1-3). Second, whether or not a person is “experienced” is not a deciding factor for a lifelong partnership. Third, do you know the likelihood of having a sexually transmitted disease if you don’t have sex? Zero. Fourth, do you know how expensive an unexpected pregnancy is? Exactly!

I know that our culture has decided to condone premarital sex, but that still doesn’t mean it’s OK. I know it’s hard to wait, but that doesn’t mean that that shouldn’t be your goal.

If God didn’t think that sex was its best in a godly marriage, then He wouldn’t have created it. Sex is meant to be the full physical expression of love between a husband and wife. Anyone who honors that shouldn’t be treated as a misfit, but as a wonderful rarity.

Have we really reached the day when marriage is based on whether or not a person can please you enough? Do we really want someone who’s had a lot of practice more than someone we want someone to practice with for a lifetime?

I’ve had people ask me what I would do if I got married and my husband wasn’t good in bed. What should I do? Should I divorce a man that loves God, loves me, is financially stable, and repsectful because he’s not a sexpert?

Sex is important in marriage, but is it seriously all about the sex now?

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It’s Still Sin

The world is in a bad place because of sin. Sin is what we have condoned in a lot of ways. We gave it a slap on the wrist, but we didn’t really change. There are plenty of people caught up in sin. We all sin. And there are a lot of people who are simply OK with it.

People don’t like to call sin what it is. It’s sin. They don’t like to recognize it as wronging God. They don’t like to admit that it’s not right. They just like to not think about it. That’s all.

I’ve been that person. Sometimes I do wrong things and I mope a little bit, and then I lay in bed miserable about it. Somehow, I think that if I lay in bed all day afterwards that maybe I won’t think about it so much. At least I feel bad right? And if I’m sleep, I don’t have time to feel so bad, do I?

But, even as wrong and twisted as that is, there is something even crazier out there. There are people who are OK with certain sins for no other reason than the fact that they commit them. Crazy, huh?

We are facing sad times. People want to pick and choose the parts of the Bible they like to live by. Then everything else is applicable to everyone else, but them. For some reason, they can “get away” with it because they don’t believe that part. That’s not right.

Sin is sin. Homosexuality is a sin. Sex outside of marriage is a sin. Drunkenness is a sin. And there are many more sins. No matter who’s doing it, it’s still wrong. Sin is sin no matter how good a person is and no matter how much you love them.

Don’t condone what’s wrong just because you do it too. And don’t condone wrong just because you love someone. Speak the truth in love and call it like it is. Sin.

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STOP Promoting Sin

Wrong is wrong and sin is sin.

I’m sorry. I just can’t condone wrong behavior. I can’t condone it if my family or friends are doing it, and I can’t condone it if I’m doing it.

And I also can’t excuse it either.

We have to stop promoting things and calling it God’s plan when we were doing something that was out of His will.

God’s will is Holy. It is Wholly Holy. And because God is God He did take your mess and bless you. But by no means did He ever intend for us to do anything outside of His will and act like we were in it. When you had sex knowing you weren’t married you weren’t in God’s will. When you had that liter of alcohol and recovered the next day, you weren’t in God’s will. And when you mismanaged your money and God blessed you with a raise, you weren’t in His will. When you lied and got out of that jam, you weren’t in God’s will.

I have made many of mistakes. More than I care to admit that I have made. I’ve done some of the above, and I knew I was wrong. And all I ever wanted to do was justify what I was doing. But here’s the thing about me and sin/wrong. I know when I’m doing it.

Anything wrong that I’ve done, I either knew it before I did it, while I was doing it, or after I did it. And because I knew better, I do believe I am in a different boat. I do feel held to a higher level of accountability because I know better.

And I guess what I’m saying now is that people need to be held accountable, even when they aren’t holding themselves accountable. There are things that you cannot be OK with doing and promoting if you are living for God.

God can turn anything around. But wouldn’t it be nice if we gave Him less situations that need fixing and more that just need His healing? Wouldn’t it be nice if I didn’t have to ask God to fix the mistake I made in sinning by not doing it? And wouldn’t it be better if I didn’t condone and promote those mistakes as if I was in His will when I committed them?

God is God. And God is good, but don’t ever for a second think that He is pleased with you being out of His will. And just remember that promoting all this wrong is not right. And whether we want to hold ourselves accountable or not, there will come a time when we have to. Are you ready for that day?


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Church: Why is it so hard to go? (Part 2)

I still would say that one of the hardest parts about living in Hartwell is the church. I’m not a big “going out” person so the fact there’s nothing to do here is whatever to me. It’s not detrimental to me. I don’t think my future husband is in Hartwell either, so that sucks a little bit too, but I still think the hardest part is church.

Not having the option and basically being forced to attend either a white church or a black church really sucks. Heaven is going to be mixed and it’s going to be all kinds of different people in Heaven so the fact that I don’t have there here in Hartwell makes it really tough.

I enjoy the church I do go to, but it’s not a mixed congregation so it makes it really hard for me. We’re in the South so we know it’s going to be separated and segregated in some kind of way. That just comes from the territory, that comes from the history of everything that has taken place here. However, church is supposed to be different.

Church is supposed to be the one place that all that stuff just doesn’t matter. Church is supposed to be the one place where your race doesn’t matter, or your sex doesn’t matter, or your socioeconomic status doesn’t matter. When you come to church, church is supposed to be the place where you forget that all that other stuff happens outside of church. It’s supposed to be time to forget that all that other stuff outside of church is going on.

Church should be the smallest glimpse of heavenly praise. It’s hard being here knowing that things are divided. And it’s not any one person’s fault, but it is a fault in history and in the present that we’ve maintained these differences in our churches.

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