Tag Archives: marriage
I wanted my final post of 2016 to go to my husband. Thank you for loving God. Thank you for being you. Here is my worldwide reminder of my vows:
Brandon, when you look at me everything changes. When you look at me the world makes sense. When you look at me it changes my outlook. Every day I am reminded of how much God loves me. You are the epitome of a man that would make me happy.
I’m so glad that when God made you He had me in mind. And I’m so glad that when God made marriage, in 2016 He had our marriage in mind. I’m so glad when God had love and marriage in mind that we were a part of that list. I’m so grateful that of all the many blessings upon my life that I know I don’t deserve that you are at the top of the list. And every day your love reminds me that God is love and that He created us to love one another.
I thank God every day that you are a reminder of what Christ did when He came and gave up His life for the church. And I thank God so much that He created you, and that you are a man that loves everything about me. You love everything that I am and everything that I’m not. Whether that’s natural, in sweatpants, with no makeup. Or all glammed up.
So today, I, Chanel, take you, Brandon to be the man I love and the man God loves. I will support and respect the man God created you to be. And the purpose He created us for.
I take you as my husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will be your Proverbs 31 and turn to you when I need help and be there for you when you need help. I will encourage you even when I feel discouraged. I will uplift you when I feel downtrodden. I will love you when I feel least loving. I will do my best to lose every argument. My best to be the first to sacrifice. And my hardest to admit when I’m wrong.
I take you, to be my husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for bad, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and rippedness, to love and to cherish till death do us part. I pledge thee my faith in every area of my life, especially my heart.
May my body be fully committed to you. May my eyes stay focused on God and you. May my heart desire to be in sync with the beat of yours. May my hands long to do God’s work alongside yours. I pray that my body, head to toe, inside and out, will please you spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
On this day, I am reminded of just how mighty God is and how perfect His timing is, and how wonderful His plans are. On this day I am yours. On this day I am Chanel Moore. On this day I have a new entity added to my identity. I am the wife of Brandon Moore, and there is no better man that I can I ask for.
My husband and I ran into each other at church one Sunday. This was obviously before we were dating and this was the first time we had seen each other since high school. And he looked at me.
He looked at me like I was the only person in the building. He looked at me like he had been looking for me since high school and finally had found me. He looked at me like no one had ever looked at me.
All week I thought about how he looked at me. And whenever I saw his name in an old yearbook or on Facebook I would go back to that moment. The moment when he looked at me. And a peaceful smile would come on my face.
Years later when we started dating, unlike my usual dating scheme I put all the games aside and volunteered honesty. You know, cause usually it’s the don’t ask, I ain’t telling playing field. But for some reason it was different. So I voluntarily told him, “You know, you looked at me some kind of way when I saw you at church that Sunday. I can’t describe it, but it was completely different than any look I’ve ever experienced. You seemed genuinely happy to see me.”
I say all that to say, that like most huge life decisions we always wonder. Did I do the right thing? Was the timing right? What now?
But when I think about my marriage and God’s presence in my dating relationship with my now husband, I’m taken back to that day. See, the peace of God surpasses all understanding. And there was a pleasant peace in my heart when I saw Brandon that day and he looked at me. And still today, when I think of that moment, I feel this peace come over me all over again.
I guess what I’m saying is that when God orchestrates your decisions, you can still feel the peace of the moment even after it’s long passed, because His peace surpasses all understanding and is not like the world gives (Philippians 4:7; John 14:27).
Brandon and I don’t have a perfect relationship. I’m hard to live with. And we disagree. Not because we want to, but because we are two completely different people. But there is one thing we have always had in common, and that’s God. Because God is our common factor we can experience true love and peace.
Is it easy being loving all the time? No. Does everything go just right so I can be in a constant state of peace? Not hardly. But neither of those things are circumstantial either. What I’m saying is, I serve a God that can remind me of a peaceful moment from the past, that can still result in peace in the present, even when my current circumstances are anything but that.
My marriage may not be perfect, but my God is. And because He is perfect and we are married to glorify Him, we have a better chance at a “perfect” marriage than we would have by trying to make it happen on our own. We need God. And with the truth of knowing that we need God, comes His peace.
Let me be honest, writing about marriage and relationships makes me nervous. I feel like I have no right to say anything about either. I’ve not been married long enough. And I’ve made some very selfish choices in past relationships. So, I want you to know that I write because I feel that God has put it on my heart to share. I write because I want people who do have marital advice to share their wisdom with anyone who reads my blog and with me. I write because I need accountability. I write because I need guidance. So, don’t keep your wisdom to yourself.
As I have said in the past, I am no relationship guru. I have some great ideas, but the execution of them never took place in past relationships. But that’s all done. I am married now, so I’m on a whole new level now. In other words, what used to work or get me by won’t anymore. Nor should I want it to.
I say all that to say, that this new idea isn’t to make it seem like I have the perfect marriage. I don’t even know what that is, except for the symbolism of Christ and His Church. That’s the only perfect marriage I know of. But that is another blog for another day. I’m going to start “journaling” a Marriage 101. Not because I know the ends and outs, but because I’m going through them currently as a newlywed.
My husband and I have a philosophy I like to call, The Not Going Anywhere Philosophy.
This philosophy pretty much means, he ain’t going anywhere, and I ain’t going anywhere, so we better pray about it and figure it out. If we got married because we believed it was God’s will like we said, then we don’t need to go anywhere. If when we were dating there was no desire to be anywhere else, there still needs to be the same commitment more than ever in marriage.
It hurts when I say things I shouldn’t have said to him. It hurts when he says the wrong things too. We hurt each other. Not because we want to, but because we have a human nature. It’s human nature to want to say and do what you want, and to not always think of the consequences or effects it will have on someone else. Even if that is someone you love.
But we made a commitment. We committed that we weren’t going anywhere on the day we said I do. So the only thing left is to figure it out. There’s only about two options anyway. We can have a long, miserable lifetime staying mad at each other. Or we can pray and figure it out.
Because the bottom line is, when you’re not going anywhere, all you want to do is make the most of where you currently are.
And for anyone reading that has a tip of the day for married couples or those considering marriage, please share. I know I need it, so someone else probably does too. Thanks for your wisdom in advance.
As always, this post serves as a reminder to me. This is the promise I am making to God, my husband, and my marriage. This is public accountability for those days that are far from perfect. Tough times come, but they also go as well. So if the next time I read this, I am having a tough time, here’s your own advice: pray and figure it out!
Well, I’m married now. I’m officially officially off the market. And it’s different. For him, maybe not so much yet, but for me, yes. I can feel the difference.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good different. Change is good. Marriage is good. And I think a lot of times marriages don’t work is because people don’t want to change. So if you don’t want to change, certainly don’t get married. Don’t even have a relationship if that’s the case.
But yes, I am Chanel Moore now. And when I say it’s different right now, I mean that it’s uniquely different. I sleep in the bed with someone, and it’s good. That’s a fun part.
I share finances with someone else. I make decisions with a counterpart. I have to consider someone else in pretty much everything I do now. And that’s not to say that we hadn’t started doing these things before we married (except sleeping together, please WAIT! It’s so worth it.). But it was almost like we did those things because it was nice to do. Now it’s a must.
I’m sure I will continue to chronicle about marriage. And I know it won’t be easy, but while it’s good, I want to talk about it. I want to have this accountability. I want to look back on this on tough days and remember why we got married.
I am married. And it’s different, but it’s good.