Do you ever look at your life and think, this just isn’t me? Do you have a moment when reality bombards you and you can’t help but think, this cannot be my life right now?
I’ve had this reality very often the last few months, more often than I’d care to admit. And what’s sad is that I’ve not really been sure of what to do about it. I’m not liking me and I’m not liking me in several areas of my life.
I don’t like who I am at work. I don’t like what I’ve become physically. I don’t like my financial situation. I don’t like feeling like my writing is at a standstill. And although I’m much better than I used to be in relationships, I still don’t too much care for the girlfriend I am.
But, of all the things I’m disliking, I most dislike my relationship with God right now. I hate that He hasn’t been on a pedestal in my life lately. I hate that we have a routine, but that I’ve made our time just that, a routine to keep.
If I don’t feel right with God, it only makes sense that I won’t like anything else that is going on in my life. God makes my life better, and it’s least likely to get better if I have a bubble that I’m trying to keep God in. It has got to be popped. And God has to be able to reign freely.
God is willing to do so much more freely in our lives than He is when He’s “forced” to stick to our plans.