I just want to see people happy.
It’s actually amazing how many people don’t really feel that way. As painful as it is, if a person is happy without me, then I’m good. Who knows, maybe I’m happy without them as well. But that’s the reality of the situation.
The fact that we ignore is that sometimes we just aren’t ready to be happy and that’s why we have such a hard time finding happiness. Some people will always think that happiness looks like something else, completely blind to the fact that they have it already.
It makes me think about the relationships that people are in and how they think the grass is greener somewhere else or with someone else. Is it really? The seeds of relationships are planted, but someone has to water them. For some reason we believe the perfect relationship is going to work itself out. That marriage would be perfect if he would only…
Yeah, it probably would be better. But what is your “if she would only” for him? How often do you do what it takes to water those grass seeds? Do you even ask what you could do? Do you care?
Once we realize that the grass where we are is pretty green, and that someone is actually looking at our situation and how green it is, we’ll start to understand happiness. We’ll understand that we’re already in a situation that can be happiness. And that it’s just us that make it something else.
Now, I don’t think every relationship can work out. When you’re with the wrong person it’s just that simple. You’re with the wrong person. But, don’t go through a drought with the right person and convince yourself that they weren’t right for you.
I believe one of the best ways to start watering the relationship seeds is to start asking what you can do? What can you do to keep the spark alive? What can you do to make his/her day better? What can you do to fill that person’s love tank?
Like anything else, in a relationship you have to put in the work to make it work. Yeah, sometimes it’s more than you bargained for. Yeah, sometimes the results take forever. Yeah, the soil you’re watering doesn’t seem fertile. But, who’s perspective do you want to see your relationship from? Every now and then take a look at how things might look to your counterpart.
Part of the reason relationships aren’t working these days is because both parties have a focus on what the other person needs to do, should be doing, or isn’t doing for them. Very rarely do people step back and ask themselves if they’re really giving what their significant other needs. It’s a complete one-track mindset sometimes. And until we actually start giving to a situation we’ll continue to not get what we need or want from it.