As I sit and listen to all the different relationship perspectives of the people that influence me, I realize it’s easy to say you’re going to have a great relationship. It’s also easy to not have one too.
I think about being the perfect wife, working on my attitude, giving up on selfishness, and sacrificing my time and wants for my husband. But, the truth is… that’s not easy. It’s actually not even close to easy. And truthfully, I believe that’s the first step. The first step is knowing that it’s not nearly as easy as it seems like it could be and knowing that I’m not that easy either.
The most un-difficult person can easily be the most difficult person when it comes to a relationship, because people are so completely different. No matter how laid back I am to everyone else, when I’m in a relationship, that person isn’t always present. Every now and then who I am and who I become take turns. And I can’t help but believe that in relationships we hide that person for far too long.
We spend a lot of time putting up the façade and hiding who we become when we don’t get our way or when we don’t agree with something, and we do this understandably so, because that person changes things. In fact, that person outgrows the relationship sometimes. Instead of admitting that, we force who we used to be to work in a situation that has become something else. And realistically, the situation becomes something else because we change.
I know we can’t help but change. I do know however, that we can help how we change, for better or for worse. I am aware that marriage is very different than dating, but I’ll continue to be amazed at how different we become or should become in the process. I’m not sure it’s an age-old question, but it is a relevant question. Would most marriages have taken place if we were the person then that we become during the marriage later?